Dear Santa,

Let me start by saying I am a huge fan. Love the red suit and the whole look! See myself going that way one day. You have known me since I was a little child. I am a good person and can’t think of anything I could have done to upset you. So why have you sent me Tipsy the Elf? Tipsy is a little monster. I am quite familiar with the concept of an elf on the shelf. We have had one at home for years. Our elf visits my family each day and at night reports to you if our daughter has been naughty or nice. My daughter adores her and I know Fisbee’s feelings are reciprocal. Fisbee is a wonderful elf who from time to time makes harmless mischief. Now Tipsy on the other hand goes way too far. He drinks too much, messes the place up and not to mention his creepy stare. He has everyone at the winery on edge during a time we should all be joyful. I would be remiss not to mention that he has on occasion tried to cause physical harm to one of our employees.

If there is any way that we could get a replacement elf I would be much obliged.

Happy Holidays,

Ryan Richard Raber